


Hat Shop Diaries

by ChamirianBels



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Diary/Journal, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Family Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-06 22:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChamirianBels/pseuds/ChamirianBels
Summary: Day 11,323I am officially 31 today. I can't believe I've lived those many days. Makes me wonder just how many more I will live. Let's see how my life will play out from here, shall we?My hat shop is still doing well, surprisingly. I know I'm not the most popular shop in town, but at least I can sell these hats. It's all thanks to that regular shopper as well. Wonder what he's up to today.Wonder if my brothers and sister will call and wish me a happy birthday. Mum did. I love that woman but I know I'm not really her favorite child. Father never showed interest in me either. Oh well. Life is how it goes.Drat, I left the oven again. I'll have to write more later. Hopefully there will be more to write.Arthur KirklandA journal/diary set up where each chapter is an entry. It's a story about Arthur, a 31 year-old man who owns a hat shop and what goes on in and around it. We read his thoughts with each entry and can witness new relationships and old relationships growing or fizzling out.





	1. Entry 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first entry written by Arthur. Each chapter will be short or long depending on what he has to say each entry. This will also be sporadically updated depending on when I write each entry. There could be many entries put in one day, one, or none. No set scheduling system for this series.

Day 11,398

          It is a glorious day once again. Very few customers but that has little with dampening my mood. No, the thing that has dampened my mood for today is the fact that my mother has become ill. My eldest brother, Alister, called me this morning to inform me. I very much appreciate him doing so, as our relationship is quite rocky but we all share a common love for our mother. Unfortunately, I am unable to shut down my shop and go to England at this time. I told him this and he did not react well. I do not blame him. I’m being very selfish right now. Also, I’m not faring very well in the money department.

          Anyway, much is not going on as of yet. Liam and Owen have messaged me, stating they will keep me updated on our mother’s health. Alister is not going to speak with me again, no surprise, but at least those two will keep me up to date. While they are taking care of her, I will be caring for my hat shop. My not-so-popular-but-still-miraculously-running hat shop.

          As a boy I have always loved hats. They are simple things but can change the mood of a person or accent the person’s outfit just right. They can even hide messy hair of those too lazy to comb out their bed head. For me, hats are a way of expressing the mood I am in. They are also amazing to collect. I have my fair share in my apartment above the shop, but there are some I sell because I know people would enjoy them. For costuming, cosplaying, or any purposes. Really, I hear quite the interesting reasons when I ask, “What will this be for?” Especially if the hat is not an average hat.

          There is this one customer who comes to mind, a regular, who comes in at least once a week or twice a month depending on whatever he’s going through. We don’t particularly chat, but when he comes by for a hat, I always ask that question. His answers are sometimes “Just because,” or “I feel like getting this one today.” When he picks up other hats - ones for pirates, sea captains, army, or of the like - he always gives a strange, mysterious grin. He always answers the question vaguely as well.

          I sometimes wonder what he really does. Maybe he’s a collector like I am, but I wouldn’t be too sure. I don’t know the man. Probably never will. Shame, really. He’s a handsome bloke. Young, charming, blond with blue eyes, full of energy still. He could possibly be the complete opposite of me. Our personalities could clash for all I know. Still, I can’t help but wonder.

          I don’t even know his name. I must be a creepy man, imagining things with a stranger who’s only a customer. Must you be like this, Arthur? Pining after someone who you won’t ever have? Really.

          Well, I must be off. Ignatius is yowling for attention. His food bowl is also empty. Must be hungry. Annoying little cat.

Arthur Kirkland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	2. Entry 2

Day 11,404

          That chap came in today. I greeted him as usual, with a kind smile and offering help if he shall ever need for it. He doesn’t usually, but today he asked for a special kind of order. If I do such a thing as order hats for customization. I do have to admit, I usually don’t, but for a regular customer, I might as well try. I said as such and he grinned so wide I’m sure his face would split in half.

          When I asked what it is he is searching for, he explained to me that he wanted a pilot cap with an embroidered name to it. Mentioned it would be for his brother since the man enjoys flying planes whenever he can. He told me he also loves flying, but he’s more into superheroes and comics. Although, he did share that he’s an engineer at the local factory. Loves to put things together and take them apart. I suggested being an inventor if he loves doing so, but he shrugged if off saying he doesn’t have brilliant ideas. I told him, “Nonsense. I bet there’s plenty ideas in that head of yours. You’re just too scared to try them out quite yet.”

          He pouted as I said that, commenting on how he’s not scared. He really doesn’t have ideas. I rolled my eyes and asked for how he wanted to be informed of his customized hat and what he wanted in detail. He explained to me what he wanted, left me his email, and asked for me to send him a message when I’ve called in the order and it’s ready for pick up. I professionally gave my word and he left.

          I have the bloody man’s email! Who would have thought I’d get something as personal as that? Shame that I don’t know his name yet. That will be my next mission at hand. Goodness, look at me setting up “missions” just to get close to a customer. Arthur, don’t delude yourself. There’s no way a chap like him could ever like you the way you would want someone to like you. You’ll never be loved. Not like you were before…

…

          I just got a call from my brothers. Mum is doing okay. She’s suffering but she’s not dying. The doctor’s are doing everything they can to help prevent her from getting any worse. She has not asked for me to visit.

Arthur Kirkland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	3. Entry 3

Day 11,406

          I have called in the customized pilot hat the man asked for. I also sent him an email notifying I have done so. He replied thirteen minutes after thanking me for the trouble of doing so. He also said that I’m the only hat shop person that he could trust. Such honor is not deserved of myself, I assured him. He was adamant that I’m the best hat shop owner - as I told him I’m the owner of the establishment, not just a worker – that is local. I was very touched but didn’t take his words to heart. Who would? We don’t know each other. He could be misjudging me with ideas that are very untrue to how I really am. It could only be my fault as I act differently around customers than anyone else.

          Finding a company that would customize hats was not that easy. It took me a full day to track down at least one reliable company with good ratings. I know I shouldn’t trust so easily but I do not wish to upset a regular customer with any kinds of delay. He asked for it, even gave me cash for the payment stating that he wouldn’t take any change since he knew it cost a lot of time to do customizations. He always pays in cash, but I’m not sure how he gets Benjamins when he’s merely an engineer. Does that job really pay well?

          This customization request has actually got me thinking about gaining the skill and equipment to do this in my shop. I know of the sport hat shops doing so, customers being able to watch them program a machine with the specific request, then paying right then and there. All they need are blank hats. This job is a special embroidery, though. I’m not sure equipment could do everything. Maybe I should brush up on my sewing, knitting, and crocheting. Or I could even go back to school for fashion design. No, that wouldn’t work. I wouldn’t want to be in the same world as that bloody frog. Also, I’m getting too old. I probably wouldn’t do well going back to college.

          Other than that, not much else is going on. Haven’t heard from my brothers yet but my sister sent me a note about what’s going on. Seems our father is back home from wherever he last traveled to be beside mum. He fears she won’t make it through her sickness. I think everyone is raving over a simple thing. Mum would think the same. They’re all so overly dramatic at times. No matter. I know she’ll pull through. She’s a strong woman. Always has been always will be. There’s a lot of life left in her for her to live. She won’t let a measly cold bring her down. At least I hope so.

Arthur Kirkland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	4. Entry 4

Day 11,413

          The hat finally came in today. I’m not sure what people would usually do in this kind of business transaction, but I was tempted to check it out and make sure it was what the customer really wanted. Instead, I emailed him and asked him if he would like to make sure that it’s what he really wants before finalizing the transaction. He instantly replied that he would come up and check it out while thanking me for letting him know. He’s a very nice man, always thanking me though I’ve done very little for him.

          He came in the late afternoon after lunch and examined the hat. He was pleased with it and thanked me again for the help. I told him it was no trouble at all, anything for a regular customer. He seemed a little down at my response but turned around his attitude immediately just to introduce himself.

          His name is Alfred F. Jones. I’m surprised I’m only finding this out now since he’s been around for a year in my shop, but we never really tried to become close as most regulars and owners possibly do. I’m probably not going to find much else out but that’s fine. I don’t need to know every single thing about the man I sort of fantasize about.

          Okay, so I dream about the bloke, but it’s not like I wish for it to really happen. Yes, I want love in my life, but… I’m kind of scared to love someone again. I’ve been scorned and hurt before. I don’t want to be burned again by someone I love.

          God dammit it all to hell, Ignatius just broke one of my favorite teacups! If there’s one being on this Earth I wouldn’t mind changing drastically, it’s that cat of mine. I better go clean it up before I forget and step in it later. Damned animal.

Arthur Kirkland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	5. Entry 5

Day 11,414

          This time I’m the one who called my family. I didn’t hear anything for over a week and panicked, but Mum is doing fine. She’s awake, mobile, still a spit-fire full of life. That’s all good. I was able to talk to her for a moment before my father took the phone away from her. He stated that if I really cared for her, I’d drop what I’m doing and fly to England. I wouldn’t be here with my shop. He told me not to bother calling if I wasn’t coming up and hung up on me. The nerve of that man! But he has a point. I’m just afraid to shut my shop down for an extended time. I’m not sure how long Mum will be sick. The doctors say it’s nothing serious, but she’s been in the hospital ever since  my birthday. Is my rotten luck starting to affect the woman I love the most in this world?

          …

          I’m going to book a flight to England tonight.

Arthur Kirkland


	6. Entry 6

Day 11,420

          It seems that my family still won’t treat me as part of them. I’ve been in a hotel all this time, money wasted away each night I stay here. Bloody jerks they are. I came for Mum yet they still turn me away. At least Liam, Owen, and Erie all speak with me. They didn’t offer their homes, but at least I’m noticed. This is exactly why I didn’t want to come here. They just make me feel unwanted. Unloved. Not worthy to be living and breathing. I just hate them. Even Liam and Owen. They don’t do anything. They just play the part as brothers that should care. Erie and I have never been close, but still. Damn it all, I AM ALSO HER FAMILY! I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE AND BE TREATED WITH SOME SEMBLANCE OF RESPECT. Ass-holes…

          …

          I at least have one person who is in contact with me. Alfred apparently came by the shop today to see it’s closed until I come back. He asked what was going on and I vaguely told him I just wanted to see my family. This was a truth but not the whole truth. He seems like he cares but I’m not sure. I doubt he’ll message me again after today. Knowing I’ll be back soon, he won’t worry. Who would worry about me? I’m just not worth worrying over or loving, am I?

          …I really hate being ‘home’.

Arthur Kirkland


	7. Entry 7

Day 11,450

          Being here over a month was very unexpected. It seems Mum’s sickness is worse than everyone thought. We don’t know if she’ll make it out or if she’ll have a set amount of time  left before her last day on Earth. I can’t stand to think about it. I’m in denial. I’ll never admit that she’s suffering from cancer. She’s been so strong all her life, why would she be shot down by that vile, life eating sore? I know she can make it through but I still have my doubts. Who wouldn’t? I mean, she’s been in the hospital for almost four and a half months. Of course it’s something serious. Of course I should be worried about her. But I’m not. I’m not all that worried. She’ll be fine. She’ll get through this and be an even stronger woman. It’s how she is. It’s how she is.

          Alfred has actually replied a few times over the month. He asked me when I’ll be back and I told him I’m not sure quite yet. He said he hopes I come back soon because he’d like to buy some more hats from his favorite hat shop owner. The git. He has no idea how poor I really am as an owner. And as a person.

          There’s this one email he sent me saying that his brother enjoyed the hat he got. He said that his brother was really surprised and put it on instantly. They went for a ride in one of the man’s planes, which I’m surprised to hear he owns one himself, and they had a blast. He even said he wished I could have experienced it. We’re not friends yet he said this. We may have known each other sparingly over a year, but we are far from being friends. Or is this his way of saying he’d like to be friends?

          In the same email, he mentioned something about making his own gift for me as a thank you. I told him not to bother, I’m not worth the time, but he insisted that he’s doing what he wants because he wants to do it. Who am I to stop him? I told him, “If that’s how you feel, then I won’t stop you. Just know that I still feel undeserving of a gift. We barely know each other as it is and there’s no real need for a gift. I am merely doing my job.” He has yet to reply.

          I’m not eager or any foolish thing like that. It’s nice to speak with someone again. Someone who’s not family. That reminds me, I haven’t replied to Lovino in quite some time. I wonder if the man is livid. Knowing him, he’s probably raving mad and complaining. How I met him is a funny story. A story I’ve probably already written down in my old journals. It probably wouldn’t be any harm to retell it as it happened years ago. Test my memory out, I dare say. But that will have to be for another time. Right now I need to rest. I’m going to be leaving England soon and that news will just upset my family. I need all the rest I need to bear with their wrath.

          Wish me luck.

Arthur Kirkland


	8. Entry 8

Day 11,452

          Sharing with the folks that I’m leaving tomorrow was, as I feared, a bloody disaster. My father told me to leave and never bother coming back. Alister nearly hit me but my other brothers stopped him. Erie didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look at me. I spent ten minutes with Mum telling her I had to leave. She smiled, wished me happy times back in America, and to not worry over what everyone else says. I wish I could do just that.

          Alfred’s emails are the only things that have kept me smiling through all this time. He finally replied today and told me I shouldn’t talk down about myself and that I did deserve something in return for helping him. I was going to reply back saying “poppy cock” but didn’t, as he sent me a second email. It took me by surprise. Would someone blame me for being surprised? In the second email he stated that he was going to take me to dinner the day I get home and ask me about my trip to England. I snorted, knowing full well that those were hollow words. A loose promise. He would do no such thing. I would get home, open up shop again, try to gain back the money I wasted while here in England and paying the bills that are almost overdue, and getting back to my methodical life. He won’t take me to dinner. That’s not going to happen.

          I did get in touch with Lovino like I said I would. I called him yesterday and he chewed my ear off about being a sodding recluse that didn’t believe in picking up the phone to speak with a friend. Mind you, I am censoring him as he spoke many a curse word, as that is Lovino. The foul mouthed Italian I oh so love as a friend. It’s funny how we are so similar but have drastic differences about our lives and the way we do things. Still, he’s one of the best friends I’ll ever have in life. One I would not trade for the world. I really shouldn’t say that because his ego would get slightly inflated only for him to deny it, belittle himself, and say I’m “full of shit.” He really is not able to realize that just maybe someone does care about him a lot. Maybe someone does love him and he doesn’t know it. Maybe he really does have good friends but he just forgets when he’s alone with no one else around to remind him. It’s really scary how alike we can be. Because of how similar we are, I believe that it is one reason why we get along so well, clash, and also keep each other standing and sane. We’re each other’s rocks, as one would say. Being that we met in middle school and have grown up with each other, annoying each other to some extent, I’m not surprised. We’ve been at each other’s necks some days but we always had each other’s backs as well. Some people feared us in school when we paired up for projects or in groups. Anyway, we were able to catch up with one another as it had been quite some time since we last spoke. He’s been busy with his restaurant and dealing with his little brother’s shenanigans with the German man he cannot stand. Honestly, I’m shocked Feliciano and Ludwig have yet to marry, but it seems that maybe it won’t happen. At least they will stay friends.

          I could write about Lovino for hours, reminiscing good times with him, but I should get some sleep. My flight leaves bright and early and I shall not miss it. Maybe I should email Alfred to let him know I’ll be coming back tomorrow. … No, I don’t want to bother him with that. It’s not like I’m expecting him to do anything for me.

Arthur Kirkland


	9. Entry 9

Day 11,456

          I’ve been back home for three days now. I’ve been notified by my family that I might as well be disowned because of my going back to America. If that’s how things will be between us, then I shall say good riddance. They never did anything for me in the first place. I will always love my mum, always cherish the good moments, but those others will just never give me respect or care. Like I would really want that from them.

          Alfred came by today and nearly knocked down some of my displays while rushing in to me. He asked me when I got back and got upset I didn’t tell him I was home when I flew in. He told me he would take me to dinner but I absolutely refused. We argued for roughly ten minutes before I caved in, as it was rather annoying arguing with him over something so small. It’s shocking how much he seems to care and be sincere. I didn’t trust his word of dinner, but I’m a fool to think he wouldn’t go through with it.

          Dinner with him wasn’t all that bad, to be honest. He asked about my visit to England and I decided to tell him the half-truth. I visited family because I don’t see them as often and my mum was recently sick so I wanted to be sure she’s fine. I told him that she’s okay, thinking he doesn’t need to know every detail that’s going on in my family. He seemed happy to hear that, asking what my family is like. I told him I’d rather not go into too much detail as my relationship with my family is complicated. He understood and instead started telling me about his family.

          Alfred has a younger brother that’s a year in difference. Their birthdays are nearly the same, so majority of the time they celebrated their birthdays together. Matthew, his brother, was born July 1st to his July 4th. He seemed proud to be born the day of America’s independence. I merely shook my head, sharing with him that I was born April 23rd, St. George’s Day in England, when he asked. He commented about remembering that for later and I dismissed it knowing he’d probably never remember.

          We spent a good amount of time together. I wasn’t expecting that, but the two of us get along fairly well. We may butt heads over a few things, but I can see us being good friends. Nothing more than that.

          I texted Lovino about the dinner and he decided it’s worth teasing me over. I told him to shove off, it was just a friendly outing. The Italian thinks otherwise as he knows I’ve been fantasizing about the bloke a lot. Lovino is the only person who really knows what goes on in my head, even if we’re not physically with each other. I’ve also shared with him about all my regulars, including Alfred. Since I don’t bother to remember every regular’s name or even converse with them, Lovino judges that my knowing Alfred’s name and spending time with him outside of work, not to mention emailing him while I’m away, says something. That is when I told him how he should open his eyes then because it’s the same regarding him and Antonio. That got him to shut up for a good thirty four minutes before he told me to sod off. Really, I love that Italian. We could never be more than friends, though. We tried and it didn’t work out. It’s best that we’re friends. It really is.

Arthur Kirkland


	10. Entry 10

Day 11,460

          Lovino came by the shop today with his brother. The two browsed the hats but I knew Lovino was coming to check in on me. He also stubbornly stated that he wanted me to come to his restaurant the next time I eat out with Alfred, causing me to say that I’m probably never going to eat with the bloke again. He doubts me, I know he does. Feliciano knows how we get so he’s able to ignore us, but today he sided with his brother, saying it would be nice to see me more often. I’m not as friendly with the younger Italian, but he’s not a bad chap. He also bought one of the German army hats I have for Ludwig, stating that the other blond lost his old cap somewhere and had been down ever since. I warned him that replacing it won’t entirely help, but he merely smiled solemnly as he explained that it was his fault the hat was lost. He was taking responsibility for it and that warmed my heart. It’s an excuse to come to my shop but a good one.

          After they spent a few hours with me, they left and Alfred came in ten minutes later. The man seems to be coming around a lot more often these days as I’ve seen him every day since I came back home. I’m not sure why, but I’m not complaining. Today was the day he gave me that thank you gift he talked about before. It’s some kind of object that can do something for me so I don’t have to do it myself. A replacement vacuum of sorts. A Roomba, I believe he called it? He explained that he unfortunately couldn’t make a gift for me at this time, he was busy fixing up things at the factory, so he bought this for me instead. He also insisted that if it needs repairs to go to him. He’ll fix it for free. I have no clue where this kindness is really coming from, but I’m not about to bite the hand that offers it.

          The American stayed around for a while before leaving. This is the fourth day he’s visited and not bought a hat. I have to wonder if he really does come for the hats or if he comes to see me. Oh, Arthur, don’t go imagining things. Like that would be something he’d do. No one would go out of their way just to see you like that for no real reason. No one.

          Before I forget, I need to remind myself to take better care of my cat. No matter how much I dislike him, Ignatius does need to be taken care of by me. I’m grateful that my neighbor could look after him while I was away, but I can’t make a habit of that. I should have asked Lovino or even Kiku, but I suppose that’s for the future. I need to do this so my cat doesn’t scratch my face when I try to be affectionate. I seriously think he hates me just as much as I dislike him. Why do I bother having him around? Bloody cat.

Arthur Kirkland


End file.
